The United Party

Hey, all! I know it’s been a while since my last post, but I’ve been really busy. So, here’s something I just wrote in the last few hours. It’s an idealistic, hopeful piece, written because I’m so sick of the debasing tone of this damn election and how sordid it makes our political system appear.

The United Party

CNN special coverage of United party Campaign rally in Cleveland Ohio.


“Thanks Tom. Now, before we go to the stage here, where in just a few minutes Juliana Crane, the Presidential Nominee, will give her speech, let’s go into the context of this event and why it’s the talk of the nation. Since 2016, the Democrats, and in particular President Clinton, have been running the show in Washington. The GOP has been locked in internal strife since the indictment and conviction of former nominee Donald Trump for sexual assault in December 2017, though they’ve managed to hold onto the House and have been a constant hindrance to the Clinton administration for nearly a decade. If anything, the failed Pence/Christie run in 2020 only further deepened the acrimony and partisan division in Washington. Enter the United Party. A surprising blend of both former Democrats and Republicans, the United Party grew out of the disaffected Senate Ethics committee of 2016. Now, we may be witnessing this ticket having the most successful third party bid in living memory. Crane, a former Virginia Democrat, and John Kaisch, former republican governor of Ohio, have raised an immense groundswell of support the likes of which rival that which former President Obama saw during his first presidential election. Just look behind me; we’re live from Quicken Loans Arena here in Cleveland, and it’s packed to the gills, with folks sitting in the isles. It’s really something. Now, CNN brings you live coverage of Juliana Crane’s speech.”


“Thank you, thank you. Wow, what a great crowd! It’s such a beautiful day here in Cleveland, and I’m truly honored to be here with all you.” [Indistinct shout from the crowd] “I love you too! Can I just say, that it’s moments like that when I remember why I love politics. Secretly, I’m just in it for the adoration.” [Crowd laughs] “Okay, so I’m here to introduce myself and my campaign. For those who don’t know me, I’m Juliana Crane. I’m from Charlottesville, Virginia, and I’m running for president with the new United Party. We’re a new organization, formed after the travesty of the 2016 presidential election, no disrespect meant, President Clinton. We all remember what it was like, eight years ago, the lies, the sensationalism, how far the bar dropped. I remember sitting on my couch with my daughter and thinking that she and everyone across the country deserved better, and I began to discover that many people felt the same way, not just ordinary Americans, but lots of my colleagues in government as well, and so we started the United Party. It started small, just me and some like minded individuals: the late great Senator Bernie Sanders, Representative Romney, Senator Sue Collins, and a few others. Now, I know what you’re thinking, how in the world did you get all those people in the same room without a brawl breaking out? My answer is simple, and it cuts to the heart of what I want this campaign to be about. These are good people. They have their differences, but they all believe in America, and we all shared concerns about the path that the two parties of eight years ago were leading us down. We also recognized that political discourse had been forever changed in this nation, but we saw potential in that change where others saw impending disaster. So, we brought Mr. Jon Stewart on board as a consultant, and he was the one who suggested that our first goal should be complete transparency. The 2016 election was a resounding example of how we live in a world dominated by the media, and how deeply mistrustful the American people had become of those who represent them. Our little group decided, then and there, that we wanted to change that. We decided to open ourselves to the American people, to share everything, no matter how painful or embarrassing. That started with us publicizing everything about our lives, from our High School grades, to our hobbies, our parking tickets, and taxes. We started by doing bits on youtube, and Mr. Stewart, an ideas man, an outsider, and an untapped well of good ideas, suggested we take it one step further, so we started CongressCam. I’m wearing mine right now. For eight years, anyone who wanted to know what their Virginia representative was doing could go online and watch me, whether it was during a vote, listening to the Harry Potter audiobooks in the car, or playing with my daughter. If the camera was off, they could track back and see the reason why, be it a closed session, a national security matter, or my husband being creeped out by knowing the nation could see him asking me which tie to wear. CongressCam is just the baseline, though. We in the United party want the people to really know us, know us like our family, because we consider our duty to the American people to be as important as our duty to our families. That starts with transparency. Now, I know the question that follows naturally from this exposition – Juliana, that’s all great, but the United party is a hodgepodge of different ideologies, what do you stand for? And that’s a question I get a lot. People are so used to the deep divide in Washington that it’s hard for them to see that a group of people who don’t agree can set aside those differences in service to a greater cause. Our uniting ideology is not our stance on abortion, on healthcare, on international affairs. We are United in believing that this country deserves a government free from cronyism, from patronage, from greed, hence our complete transparency with regard to donations. We are United because we believe in working with each other, believe in sitting down with someone you don’t agree with, hashing it out, making sacrifices and compromises, and being able to shake hands when you’re done. We believe, in short, in the basic decency of our fellow American. Thank you. On that note, here’s a man with whom I’ve often had those late night arguments, a man of purpose and conviction, who I’m proud to call my colleague and friend. Ladies and gentlemen, my running mate, your former governor, and future vice president: Mr. John Kasich!”



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s